Do you have a difficult time saying “no”? If your answer is “yes”, let me tell you that you are not alone… Sometimes, this stems from a good place. You may tell your elderly neighbor you’ll help her with her garden because you don’t want to disappoint her. You might promise to help a colleague with her project because you know she’s having a hard time at home.
But other times, I avoid saying “no” because I care too much about what people think. I’m afraid that people will let me down if I’m not always there for them. I worry that if I don’t do what everyone else is doing I’ll be thought of as weird. So I keep trying to contort and fit into a mold that wasn’t made for me…
But what if I stopped viewing “no” as a bad thing? What if I began to look at “no” as a word that can help me shape my life to reflect my values and dreams? What if “no” is really a gift I can give myself? If you are ready to turn the word “no” into a gift, here are three simple tips on how to do just that.
Tips #1: No Can Make You Happier
One of the best reasons to say no is simply because it makes you happier. How many times have you agreed to be on a committee or volunteered to tackle a big project only to regret it later? You wish you’d never said yes… You’re sorry that you didn’t let someone else step up and do these tasks. But now it’s too late and you feel bound to follow through on your promise.
The reason saying no makes me happier is because like most people, I overestimate how much I can get done. This leads to overcrowding my schedule and feeling pressed for time constantly.
Then we feel stressed out and guilty on top of everything else.
No Can Set You Free from Expectations
Another advantage of saying no is that it can help you let go of expectations. Ask yourself who you’d be if you didn’t worry about what other people thought. Would you pursue that degree you’ve always wanted? Would you take up a new hobby? Would you decide to spend the majority of your time traveling?
But sometimes, expectations don’t come from others. Sometimes, they can come from me. I might say, “I’ve always been like this.” Or I might tell myself, “This is just who I am.”
What if you let go of those expectations? What if you chose to believe that you can change? You could say:
“I’m rewriting the script today. I’ll try new things and discover new places!”
No Can Help You Honor Yourself
Few things are more upsetting than realizing you’ve failed to honor yourself. You took on projects that weren’t a good fit for your gifts or you stayed in a relationship with a partner that didn’t honor you. You tried to squeeze inside a mold someone else created, even though it was painful. You fought hard to be who you thought you should. That’s why “no” can be so powerful.
If you’re already in a situation that’s not helping you be your best self, look for ways to change your circumstances. Maybe you need to take a break from a partner who’s controlling you. Maybe you have to walk away from a business opportunity that’s not right for you. Maybe it’s time for a serious conversation with a loved one who keeps sabotaging your success.
Don’t be afraid to say no to situations and people that don’t respect or cherish you. You deserve to be treated well. You deserve to be loved and appreciated for who you are, not who someone else wishes you to be.
Look at saying “no” as a good thing. It means you know what you want and you’re serious about growing into your best self.
Embracing oops can change your life! Find out why in my next article…
Or learn how to SAY YES TO YOUR BEST LIFE here!
